He says it. It being all the words you want to hear. He tells you how he wants to cook you dinner. He tells you he can’t wait to take you out. He begs you not to leave his place so you can spend the rest of the day cuddling. And although these things sound all well and good, you know that you’ve heard them all before albeit through someone elses lips. And so as nice as it all sounds, you get yourself up, your clothes on and get yourself out of the situation telling him not to say all these things but if he wants he can show you them instead.
How empowering it feels a week later, none of words coming into fruition, to know you took yourself out of a situation that you could’ve fallen for.
It’s not that dude was lying at the time, nor was he trying to lead you on. In fact, I bet he was super into you in that very moment and couldn’t get enough! But – when in the moment – we fail to see things as they really are. We forget about life and responsibilities and schedules and the like and, dropping all that in the moment we get ahead of ourselves. So, knowing that men (as well as us at times) are guilty of getting caught in the moment, it’s important not to take their words and promises for granted. We often blame others for leading us on, not realizing that we let them by falling for words before giving them the opportunity to prove to us they are worth believing.
When a guy you just met or just started dating tells you all that you want to hear, who immediately wants to have you stay for dinner, then brunch, then go for drinks and then wants to see you the next day, take a step back. Tell him that, though you’re flattered and love for him to see that through, that you’ve got to see it to believe it. Then, instead of sitting around playing out the scenes-to-be that he described, instead of gossiping to your friends about what a great catch this newfound guy is, go on with your life as you know it. When people are into you, they are contacting you. They don’t want someone to get to you before they do. They are texting/Facebook messaging/booking plans with you in advance.
The moment you don’t fall for words before you see actions is the same moment you take control of your psyche, your thoughts, your well-being, your life. Never let yourself fall for someone simply for the idea of couplehood that they might initially project. For this, you can thank me later.
– Jenny Jen
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