Try as we might, we are not perfect. Each of us have unique qualities that form together to create the wonderful, whimsical character that we are. Some qualities are admired, perhaps even envied and others are not as flattering. The beauty about relationships that work, is accepting the not so hot qualities for what they are, and not letting these flaws filter how you perceive your mate.

Where we go wrong, is letting one negative aspect about someone hold our thoughts hostage, creating a downward spiral effect as we look at the bad, and blame our partner for it. Part of growing and developing is all the baggage that has helped shape who we are: the good, the bad, the ugly. Sometimes, in the name of love, it’s important to let go of the expectation of a ‘perfect’ mate, anticipate and save face for when some of the bad comes out and practice patience as you show them that you can be their rock, and won’t run from their little learned behaviours. As you continue to grow as a couple, new patterns will be learned and you will be able to embrace and support each other, vices et al.

So how do you deal when your partner pulls out a trait that leads to your frustration, yet again? Change your thought process and don’t take it personally. Bring it to their attention after-the-fact to help them build awareness, and most importantly let it go. You are with the one you’re with despite downfalls. By letting it go and not letting them be a victim to their vices, you are in turn showing just how much of a partner and team you are.

- Jenny Jen

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