That moment when everything is finally ok again. When the time hast arrived that everyone said would, that you never believed you would make it to. When minutes turned to hours to days to months to suddenly not counting because you have found your once-lost self again.
We all struggle. Even the best of us do. No matter whether we are our happiest selves or we are fighting a form of depression, we all suffer in our own ways. And when suffering arises, we often can’t see past said suffering in that moment. We hear that things take time but we often seek some sort of quick fix. One – it should be noted – that doesn’t exist. We tell ourselves ‘It’s not fair,’ and we attempt to seek solace in others who we hope have some magical answers or ideas to make us whole again. But it’s only when the time clicks on by (slowly but surely), and you suddenly stop worrying and wondering and falling prey to buying into your displeasure, when things start working out for you.
I find that friends are there to act as support groups. To be there to listen to you and hug you and attempt to distract you when you need it most. But they aren’t there to make your wrongs right, to write an itinerary to happiness (though try as they might), for only you hold the key to make that switch. When we call upon friends to help us through our current struggle, the current story line which is bringing us down, they know as well as we do that nothing they say can actually fix our feelings or the situation. Sure they can help us reframe. Sure they can offer some voice of reason. Sure they can pour us a glass of wine. But you won’t even hear that voice, no matter how many hours you talk to them, until the time comes where you no longer need to. When deep within you feel suddenly ok again.
It isn’t until you are alone, after a handful of time has passed, that you catch yourself smiling just because, that you realize you are happy. You are healed. You are at peace with your current state, your life, your being just how it is in this exact moment. When you realize that you’ve been this way for some time now, well, that’s just about the most celebratory moment I can possibly think of. A weight off your shoulders. A new sense of serenity, of freedom, of empowerment.
And so, when those tough times come upon you, you strong lady you, keep on keeping on. Avoid that which heightens your stress, avoid the triggers you know that will bring out the worst in you, hold tight to your friends and don’t talk yourself into pushing them away. Take time for yourself and to feel whatever you are feeling. Engage in your hobbies, read a book, be active, keep on working and don’t let whatever is bringing you down to define you.
And when you finally get to where you were hoping you would arrive (though you were certain you’d never make it there), embrace it. Embrace your happiness, rejoice in your freedom from yourself, smile, share your newly found positive, whole energy and realize that this state is always deep down within you, if only you can see the sun behind the clouds.
Welcome back, bitch!
– Jenny Jen
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