Anger can be a deal breaker in relationships, for this we can all say for certain. The issue though isn’t about the unliked emotion, but instead what you do with it. Anger doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, if you use your anger in a positive way (yes, this is possible you passionate pistol you) like let’s say as a motivator. Anger is a healthy emotion to have – it’s what we do with it that get’s us in trouble.
First thing’s first: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all. When we’re going through whatever drama or bad day we’re going through, it becomes easy to start picking up on issues and annoyances and things are partner does. Something as simple as him whistling while you’re fuming on the inside after a day gone awry, is enough to throw you off even more. But don’t let that little, nasty voice (dressed up in a devils costume at the side of your shoulder) get the best of you. Keep quiet, because I can assure you, when you’re that worked up, talking or finger pointing will only make matters worse. Let’s not subject others to your negativity, for we all know like breeds like.
So what are you to do if you’re feeling angry and you want to take it out on your Facebook status, Twitter tweets, silent treatment of your partner or the like to ever so passive aggressively get your point across? Stop yourself. Seriously, it’s that easy. We are mature enough by now to finally be able to detect when we are acting from emotion and when we are acting from a higher intelligence and intuition. Don’t give into your emotion, because it always passes us by and what is left is some easy-to-read-behind-the-lines kind of social activity that just makes everyone feel awkward. Plus we all can relate to regretting what we’ve said and how we’ve behaved in a moment of anger. You can’t take that away, so better to avoid acting on it.
Well then what do you do with this anger, you ask? Change in your negative energy for positive energy. Go to the gym, take a walk, go to a yoga class, choose some tunes that resonate with your current situation and belt them out (when you’re alone at home, or in your car), spend time with friends, journal, save draft an email of what you want to say to someone who angered you – though be sure not to put their email address up top, and not to send it of course. Stay silent and refrain from updating any of your social networks on your current negativity. Most importantly, have the foresight to realize what comes when you act on anger. That knowingness alone should stop you in your tracks, as if you’re watching over yourself ensuring you deal with this emotion with grace. I’m not saying to ignore your feelings, but nothing productive gets accomplished when you act on them in the moment. Let them pass you by and if you are still bothered the following day or later in the week, approach the situation from a healthy place, through a non-threatening conversation.
Here are some of my favourite quotes on dealing with anger. Write them down, save them in your phone, keep them around so when the moment strikes, you can save yourself:
“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape one hundred days of sorrow.”
“When anger arises think of the consequences.”
“Do not live by emotions; instead live by intuition and conciousness.”
- Jenny Jen
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