You wake up in the morning with a message from him. Him being your rock. Him being your ‘other half’ as they say. You smile as you read his message, which happens to be one full of motivation. Wishing you a great day. Setting out a few goals to help give you the extra push you need to stay on track and keep on keeping on. You lucky lady you. There’s a ‘Sex and the City’ episode, where Samantha says that the testament of a relationship is whether you’re like this more (insert smile here), or like this more (insert frown here). How true that is. If you are not truly happy, motivated and inspired by the person you are with, than why be with them? Relationships are meant to be an asset in your life. A dual greatness shared between two individuals. So are you smiling more, or frowning more?
I think back to some of my girlfriends (and dare I say – my own) relationships and have often heard the expression ‘so and so brings out the best in me, but he also brings out the worst.’ At the time, when our raw early twentysomething hearts enjoyed the subtle beats and the aggressive ones, we deemed that the payoffs of high high’s and low low’s were in fact worth it. How naive. How juvenile. If someone brings out the worst in you than that is a clear sign that they aren’t for you. We don’t need to be brought down by another. As humans we do a good enough job at bringing ourselves down with negative thoughts, as we are always our worst critics. Which is why it is so important to find a significant other who brings you up when you are down, instead of one who criticizes you and digs you even deeper.
When we invest ourselves into another, we need to make sure that they add to our lives and us to theirs as well. Are you there for your partner when he needs you? Or instead to you find his concerns dramatic and find yourself trying to avoid discussing them?
We are the only ones who can prevent ourselves from being full, complete individuals and that begins with our decision of who we let into our lives. Leave toxic relationships aside and open yourself up to ones that help you grow. If you haven’t received ongoing support from your partner without even asking for it (as shown in the opening scenario of this piece) then ask yourself whether your bar is set too low.
- Jenny Jen
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