The Downside Of Being ‘Liked’

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. With good comes the bad, with ups come the downs. They call this balance, but us twentysomething women know it by it’s more realistic name: not fair. We flourish and grow when things are going well, but when things are at a standstill, we get restless. We become affected by a lack of stimulation and motivation. The same way you want to maintain a good buzz on a night out, you want to maintain the buzz that comes with all the good going on in your life. When people are giving you attention, noticing your actions (in a positive way) and are encouraging you, it’s so easy to get hooked on that feeling. On that buzz.

So what do we do? We keep pushing ourselves to maintain the goodness that leads to that feeling. Some of us update our Facebook statuses multiple times a day, getting a kick off of the likes and comments we receive. This gives us a feeling of comfort, of being liked, a perception of ourselves to ourselves. Or if we land a great contract at work, instead of just being proud of that contract and giving it our undivided attention, allowing the success and challenge of it to seep in, it instead often acts as a motivator pushing us to get another (and another, and another) to keep that feeling of success, fulfilment and capability within us.

We are often trying to prove to ourselves just how good we are. If someone compliments how we look, an item of clothing, a hair style, or our home, it’s as if we’ve just taken a hit, and on a high we search to get another one. So we maintain said look, hooked on the words of praise. Now I’m not saying being motivated is a bad thing, but it’s important to look at what’s pushing you to succeed, and why. In this day in age, with the whole sharing of our lives thing over social networks becoming, we are living off of other people’s responses (or lack thereof) more so than we are of the greatness of our own accomplishments.

Take time to celebrate monumental happenings, and give them the attention they deserve before rushing for the next hit. Allow each moment to be embraced, instead of letting it pass you by. Do the same for others. If not your accomplishments become meaningless. Instead of liking your man’s latest project he shares on his Facebook wall, instead buy him a blank card and write how proud you are of him. Talk about the project, how lucky he was to land it and complete it. Let it linger. Or perhaps if you’ve landed a promotion at work, or a new gig, go for a celebratory drink with your man, making sure to order some bubbly and toast to this next step and new journey. Making special moments special with those special to you, will last longer than your latest like.

At the end of the day, you need to be your biggest fan. You might think you already are, but if that were the case ask yourself why you can’t just accept each moment as it happens. Appreciate and be aware of your accomplishments, with the rewarding feeling from others coming secondary. Now that’s a pretty sweet bonus, i’d say!

- Jenny Jen

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2 Responses to The Downside Of Being ‘Liked’

  1. sam says:

    jennnn this is so real. And now I am hesitant to comment on the article like this instead of writing you a card by hand! But, well, when you're halfway across the world what can you do? this totally brightened my day. hope the glow reaches your side of the meridian. xo

  2. Jen! I really like this one as well. This is so true and what I experienced two weeks ago. I was on a total high with all of the praise and good things coming my way that I WAS looking for the next good thing. Now I feel like things are boring and at a stand still and I feel lonely and rejected haha. Thank you for sharing this perspective.

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