Surprise parties. Surprise dates. Surprise presents. Surprise visits. There is a beauty in the unexpected. No expectations means no let downs. To be caught off guard is to be whisked away (insert heart beating here). Behind little surprises (even as little as a note of love left on the kitchen counter), comes the notion that someone took their time to plan something for you. They thought about you and what they thought would make you smile, and did their best to keep the chosen surprise a secret, all for your happiness (and perhaps effect).
Surprises come from a place of pure genuinity. Nothing is asked of; no pressure is induced. I’m sure you’re unfortunately accustomed to the trend of not getting what you want once you ask for it. Not only are you let down, but you’re let down even further as you plague yourself with thoughts of being uncared for or unattended to. By expressing a want to someone, we often are the product of our own demise. When we ask for something, we often times put pressure on others, which makes them want to fulfill our wants even less. Sure, it’s nice when we ask (or hint) about something and our man does just that, but often it comes off (unbeknownst to us) as controlling or nagging. Whereas, allowing room for someone to surprise you and just act as they wish comes from a place deep within. It means more. It goes recognized.
Relationships that work are made up of all the little things. Reassurances here, signs of affection there. Keeping things exciting and maintaining a balanced relationship is made possible by the allure and the euphoric feelings that come from little (or even big) surprises. They keep both you and your partner on your toes and are a fun way to show you care. Take note of when they mention their go-to order at Starbucks, when they talk about a book or product they want, what their favourite food and music is, favourite wine or beer, and store a note in your BlackBerry or iPhone of the little things they love, so you can have a list on tap for when you’re ready to send some surprise love their way. You’ll likely get bonus points for remembering the little things. A+ girlfriend stature and all.
Think back to the last time someone surprised you. What they did. How you felt. Share that energy in a pay it forward way and give it for the taking.
- Jenny Jen
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