Sometime Around Midnight

First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving to my friends across the border! Wishing you and your families a great Thanksgiving. The great part about it is you’re either off work, or off school and I encourage you to enjoy the evening with a number of cocktails, followed by a day of Black Friday madness. Victoria’s Secret, I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow.

A couple months ago I heard a song that really captivated me. It was a balanced mix of lyrics and the cry for an emotional need to be filled by the artist, that made me listen to the song on repeat for a good hour or two. Something about the tone really did it for me. Since then, it hasn’t gotten much air play, but I heard it today on the radio and knew it would be the subject of my next blog. The song is called ‘Sometime Around Midnight’ by Airborne Toxic Event. Below are the lyrics to the song, along with a link to watch the music video for you twentysomethings who can’t be bothered to read down your MacBook screens. You can watch the video by copying and pasting this link: The intensity that is this song is electrifying – and I’d like to discuss the issue at hand; that issue that anyone who has an ex has either experienced or has been the perpetrator of. The lyrics:

And it starts, sometime around midnight.
Or at least that’s when you lose yourself
for a minute or two.
As you stand, under the bar lights.
And the band plays some song
about forgetting yourself for a while.
And the piano’s this melancholy soundtrack to her smile.
And that white dress she’s wearing
you haven’t seen her for a while.

But you know, that she’s watching.
She’s laughing, she’s turning.
She’s holding her tonic like a cross*.
The room’s suddenly spinning.
She walks up and asks how you are.
So you can smell her perfume.
You can see her lying naked in your arms.

And so there’s a change, in your emotions.
And all these memories come rushing
like feral waves to your mind.
Of the curl of your bodies,
like two perfect circles entwined.
And you feel hopeless and homeless
and lost in the haze of the wine.

Then she leaves, with someone you don’t know.
But she makes sure you saw her.
She looks right at you and bolts.
As she walks out the door,
your blood boiling
your stomach in ropes.
Oh and when your friends say,
“What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Then you walk, under the streetlights.
And you’re too drunk to notice,
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don’t care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.

You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she’ll break you in two

Bold is an understatement, no? I have a number of girlfriends, who – over a few too many vodka soda’s – have confided in me about their ‘jealousy itineraries’. The jealousy itinerary is a thought out plan to make an ex jealous, with the intention of capturing his attention to win his heart. The mindset that accompanies this itinerary, is the idea that your former flame will see you laughing, looking obviously, ridiculously mind-blowing hot, with an equally obviously, ridiculously mind blowing hot gentleman , and he’ll wonder what his moronic head was ever thinking for letting you out of his site. Right then and there he gets down on his knees, pulls out a little turquoise box, and the two of you live happily ever after. I see you blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings reading this with enthusiasm as you nod your head in agreement, relieved that there are other girls out there just like you. Let’s get one thing straight ladies: It’s called a break up because it’s broken. If for some reason your jealousy itineraries do happen to work, it is just a short term fix, so don’t get your hopes up. Live in reality. You two didn’t work out. If you want to make him jealous for the sake of saving face (to conceal your obvious i’m-not-over-you-yet emotions, by all means, do what you will. But if your intention is to make him jealous in hopes of getting back together, the only one you’re fooling is yourself. He likely feels threatened by the fact that he can’t have you and that you are no longer “his”. That or the fact that he’s comfortable with you and someone else has taken his if-I-don’t-find-someone-else-by-the-end-of-the-night go to. It’s more about him than it is about you girls and I don’t want to see a frown on that beautiful face of yours. Playing out the scene and performing in the role of the girl above, is likely the one who feels more hurt in the long run.

When you are the leading star in the scene as described in the lyrics, you are messing with fire. Post relationship emotions are always intensely heavy. It’s so easy to recall the scent of an ex, and the way they look when laying next to you, but it’s not healthy thinking. The writer of this song is toxically thinking about his past. Instead of playing the reel of bias, heart-warming memories in his head, he should instead be playing an unedited reel, compiled of both the good and the bad. It becomes so easy and almost innate to lie to ourselves to ease our pain. To obsess over the good, to not have to feel the bad. The song writer is doing just that, instead of letting go. Instead of enjoying the tunes, the libations and the crowd, he is focusing in on the destructive. The woman described is also focussing in on the destructive; too caught up with making an impact on her past, holding with clenched fists onto the nights replacement.

A quote to live by when feeling anger towards an ex:

“The best revenge is living well.”

The lyrics in this song are all too relatable whether you are the one watching the ex or you are the ex performing. The line’s in this song ring true. My favourite line is “And this piano’s the melancholy soundtrack to her smile.’ I love the imagery.

Below are some images of couples infamous for breaking up (and at times reuniting):

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