I was invited to a very exclusive, invite only industry event and was lucky enough to be invited with a plus one. I thought about who I wanted to accompany me to said event and realized a lot of pressure comes with bringing a plus one. Do I choose a friend who’d appreciate the event and be oh-so-thrilled to be there? Do I bring some arm candy, the male equivalent of the trophy wife? Or do I just bring a family member since they are fam and are here for keeps? So much comes with making what seems like a simple decision. And just when I’ve made my decision, I find out that I have another event to go to on another night as well. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Jenny Jen sits and ponders who to choose as her plus one
The idea of the plus one is quite burdensome to me, an admitted indecisive young being. Of course bringing a boyfriend would be the first option that comes to mind, but what if he’s busy,unavailable or – dare I say – has no interest? Then am I a rejected failure who should hide in her walk in closet and not attend the event that every other person has their date at? The image of people asking me ‘Where is so-and-so’ all night to no avail would make my broken-record (and possible heart) responses sound guarded and defensive. Would jealousy run deep through my veins when I see fellow hand-holding-couples smiling at one another, as I grab my Blackberry and type (then delete) the whole guilt ridden ‘Why aren’t you here’ text? Well, lucky for me that’s not my style. I have fabulous girlfriends and great buddies who can fill in like none other and at times are the better option as it is.
Get this: Though we fantasize up a storm that we will have a steamy date to accompany us to whatever the function is, no one wants a plus one who doesn’t want to be there. Think of the friends of yours who make their man come to everything and everything (yes, if you and your friends brought your man to the movie Valentines Day – or better yet, the ballet – I’m talking directly to you.) We need to shape up and ensure we choose the right person for the right event.
Jenny Jen’s Tips on How to Choose a Plus One
Trust me, I’ve learned from experience, do not – i repeat, do not – bring someone somewhere with you that you had to persuade or guilt-trip into it. The fact that they don’t want to be there and that you know it has the power alone to ruin it.
Make sure whoever you bring will fit in, will feel comfortable and is not out of place. Someone who gets awkward in fancy establishments (think: converse wearing hipster) shouldn’t be your first choice. Comfort zone and ability to adapt to a new environment is key.
Our friends and significant others make you a better you. Don’t pity bring someone if something comes up last minute, just to have a plus one. Instead, put on your favourite lip stick, pumps, and confidence and rsvp as a one, and work it girl!
- Jenny Jen