Picking and Choosing

“I can’t get together tonight,” he utters as he goes on to tell you he’s back on the health track, trying not to indulge in drinking and meals out and late nights. Instead he insists that he intends to start off the week by hitting the gym, eating healthy and saving himself for the long weekend.  Instead of being offended you’re actually kind of proud.  It takes quite some self-restraint to say no to drinks with you, you pretty girl you, and for him to put his health first. You’re likely in awe.  You likely might hit the gym and avoid the bottle yourself.  But when you guys message back and forth the next evening, it becomes way more off-putting when he tells you he’s out with one of his boys for drinks than it would have been if he didn’t drown you in – what now seem like excuses – the night prior.

A guy who gives up, a guy who doesn’t keep his word, isn’t one many of us can say we are in awe of.  He becomes more confusing as we see him conflicting with himself.  Because, ladies, whether one can profess and keep commitments they made, especially to themselves, says much about their character.

So what do we learn from baring witness to one who teeter-totters who are all over the map?  Does this mean if we just try harder, or push a little harder he will likely fall prey to our ways and will give in to us too?  Does this mean we should cut him off so his inability to keep his word doesn’t rub off on us?

The answer is simple: If your feelings aren’t involved in this guy and you only see him as a playmate, worry not about his flightiness.  Go with the flow and feel free to treat him likewise.  He’s not your problem and there’s no need to take who he chooses to see, and whether he chooses to go out with friends personally.  If however, there is a little something more there be aware that this is a tendency of his.  To say one thing and to do another.

A guy who picks and chooses his poison and company and lacks consistency is sending you some mixed messages to say the least. So, it should be noted mixed messages in this forum may be representative of other mixed messages he might be sending about other things in relation to you.  Just sayin.

– Jenny Jen

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