Dating Your Boyfriends Friends

The booking of double dates and meeting the parents is almost as exciting (if not more than) following through with said plan. Because, you don’t just ask anyone to meet the parents and respectively, you don’t introduce your friends to just another notch on the belt (unless they’re in a cab with you at 2am dropping you off at his place on his way home and you happen to pull up at the same time). So, when you’re sitting on the couch together on a lazy afternoon on the weekend and the boy tells you that his parents invited him over for dinner and he wants you to join him, you feel a smile spread across your face. You – having already introduced him to yours – are suddenly reassured in that one sentence he utters, that he in fact feels the same way as you. That he is at a stage where he wants to incorporate and include you in his life and – dare I say – in a rather show and tell like fashion. Same goes for invites to double dates with his besties and yours. Welcome to the process of becoming a part of one anothers’ lives. Not that you weren’t already, but this can be classified as ‘the next step’.

The meet the parents and double date combo pack often come up once you two have spent a reasonable amount of time together a) because you can’t get enough of each other you’re not in the camp of sharing him just yet, and b) you’re learning about each others traits, habits and personalities, as if he’s on a prolonged interview for the position of your one and only. But when you find someone who makes you smile and laugh and who gets you and who you get, you want to share him and present him to those closest to you so they can see (at least part of) what you see in him. So they can establish a relationship of their own with him. So you can see if he blends well with your life as you know it; with those most important to you. And that’s when these dates come about. When the urge to share and show hit.

Watching your guy engage in conversations and banter and laughter with ‘your side’, invites you to take a seat and observe whether the traits he shows you are exclusive to him or not. And if they are, it is a clear sign that this little something something you got going on is headed in the right direction.

To date your boyfriends friends and his extended social network as well, is to establish a further understanding of each other and how you each operate. By dating your boyfriends friends whilst holding his hand, allows you both to bond even further, over a shared sense of connection. And it also sorta, kinda lets you see (if you hadn’t already) that maybe this is something more serious then just a rebound. Then just killing some time together.

Oh and if you’ve dated for a month or two and have yet to meet his friends, may I plaster a big red flag across this blog? Think about it: when you’re head over heels for someone new you want to share this new found happiness (and person) with everyone.

- Jenny Jen


2 Responses to Dating Your Boyfriends Friends

  1. LOVE this post! It's so true. I met much of my boyfriends' fam the first few weeks we were dating (minus his parents) because we were traveling together. After about a month of knowing each other, he told me his parents wanted to meet me too and it was such a special feeling…you are right, that is a next step and means they are on the same page as you : ) Friends work the same way. I wouldn't go taking home any old guy to meet my girls…he has to be friend-worthy of course ; ) Awesome post Jen!

  2. Toddy says:

    Thanks for writing this. I've been dealing with this issue myself with my new boyfriend (almost 2 months) but couldn't find the words in my own blog. I completely agree if you haven't met friends after a month or two HUGE RED FLAG. I met two guy friends and their girlfriends on date #3, week 2. The only problem I've been having is that my bf has A TON OF FRIENDS AND RELATIVES. A ton. We are both from DC and he's lived back here for 5 years. While he was gone for only 4 years I was gone for 9 and just moved back. So he has a ton of friends in the area. I have less. And it feels a bit as though he's PARADING ME AROUND and showing me off in front of EVERYBODY. Roommates and ex-roommates. Old classmates. coworkers and old coworkers. cousins and friends. And friends of friends. And friends' girlfriends. Its EXHAUSTING. If anything its taking time away from us when we share dinner or drinks or nights in with other people instead of just one another. And while I know I should be thrilled that he's excited about me and obviously serious about me, what if things dont work out b/w us in month 3 or month 4 and then he had traipsed this girl around in front of all his people. Is this weird? thoughts? I have yet to meet the parents or hear any mention of meeting the parents. Personally I find meeting all these friends exhausting. Guys tend to have a WIDER group of guy friends in terms of personalities I find. They will stay friends with someone they have nothing in common with bc they shared a 6 person aptment while interning once bc they both like bball or Xbox. I find it difficult trying to get along with these 100 people some of whom are not like my bf or me at all. Tips? Strategies? words of advice? Help! -T.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>