Clichéd Kissing

You’re on a date, you’re into him.  He seem’s to be into you too, but the clincher is when he leans in and plants his pouty little lips right onto yours.  It’s in that moment that you know for certainty whether there’s chemistry or not; it’s in that moment that you know whether he’s crushing on you too, or if it was all just in your head.  Oh to be single and in the dating world.  Where first kisses give you butterflies; where the curiosities of him making a move are enough to make you weak at the knees.  So, as your date goes by, you can’t help but will it to end because traditionally that’s when he will make his move.  How clichéd.

I’ve always wondered why the kiss has been set up to come end of eve?  The idea of the expected is often wasted on me as I’m more of a keep-me-on-my-toes kind of gal, but more than that I believe in trusting ones instincts in the worlds of dating or relationships.  So if you wait for the end, then isn’t that pushing off instincts (that is, if they are there in the first place.) We often act in certain ways when it comes to matters of the heart because we want to do what we think is right.  What we think is appropriate. We’ve all heard of The Rules when it comes to dating: Don’t sleep with him too soon or he’ll never respect you.  Don’t be too available.  Don’t initiate the first move. You know them all – hey – you may even live by them all.  But the only rule we should live by is to trust our gut instinct; this miraculous sixth sense that speaks more truths then our inner monologue ever could.  Hopefully, he will do just that as well.

If there is chemistry  from the get-go, if all you want to do is lean in and plant a peck on him lust-worthy lips because you really just can’t contain yourself, then go for it.  It takes away from that awkward stalling in his car/at your door/in front of both your cars as you’re saying goodbye and looking at him with those eyes.  Those disgusting, desperate, ‘Please lean in and kiss me’ eyes.  A friend of mine recently went on a date and saw those eyes.  Those eyes, he confessed, put on too much pressure.  They were filled with hues of anticipation, with the striking air of hope.  He opted out of kissing her and the knowingness that she wanted it made him too opt out of a future date.  It was too predictable.  Too forced.  Too unnatural.

Allow your instincts to guide you, as opposed to traditional rules or ways of being.  Relationships that are organic work best.  If it’s meant to be, who you are, how you are and what you do will be align with what he’s looking for, as opposed to judged or ridiculed.  But yes mama, you can hope that he does so first.  After all, when the guy is the one to initiate we can truly feel like a lady.

– Jenny Jen

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