Big Boys Do Cry

Have you ever seen your man cry? Maybe he’s teared while watching a film, maybe when you guys said your first I love yous, maybe even when he was opening up to you in one of those in-depth, emo conversations we all seem to have when in serious relationships. We were brought up associating masculinity with being tough, strong and resilient. But despite these societal expectations, I really believe that men who cry are more manly. They are taking off the normal day-to-day mask they wear and are showing us how it is.

When we cry in front of someone, we are sharing an intimate moment. We are letting our guard down and are tapping into vulnerable territory. I salute the men who have let tears stream down their scruffy, handsome faces in front of a lady. They say crying makes someone look weak, but I in fact think the contrary. It shows inner strength and confidence. This guy is so comfortable with himself, that he is ok letting his guard down in front of you. Damaging his macho/tough/manly reputation doesn’t phase him because he has such a strong sense of self that even tears won’t threaten his ego. If your man is shedding tears, he is shedding them because he feels an extreme trust and comfort with you. He is allowing you into a grey area within him that perhaps, no one else has seen before.

Seeing a guy I care about cry, in turns brings out the water works within me. I suddenly want to reach over and give all the love I have to give; my empathy at an all time high. As it’s happening I realize that me and the guy are sharing a special moment and that I have brought something out in him that he feel’s ok around me to let go and to just be. No faking it. No living a facade.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the way to my heart is tears, nor am I saying that tears add machoness automatically, because like everything else – moderation is key. But I do think it’s sincere when – at the movies – during a heartbreaking scene, that I notice a loan tear stream down the guys face. I’ll never forget, a handful of years ago my brother, his girlfriend at the time and I went to see ‘Pay it Forward’. Near the end of the film, my brother and I had the most water-filled eyes and his girl didn’t even flinch. After my bro dropped her off at home, we spent the rest of the car ride gossiping about her lack of emotion being a point of concern.

Crocodile tears are frowned upon. I don’t want a guy to faux-cry just to get his way, because that’s just sad in itself. But the men whose tears I’ve wiped off their honest, remarkable faces will always hold a special place in my heart. They are fearless, passionate men not afraid to embrace the sadness and happiness of emotions.

- Jenny Jen


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