Being Fake

Being fake is the new in. Social gatherings invite you to come on out, plaster that million dollar smile across your fully made-up face, put on your hottest little number, and say ‘hi’ and ‘hello’ and ‘oh, how have you been’ to all the acquaintances you’ve added to your acquaintance roster over the years (likely from past social gatherings such as this.) Let’s face it ladies: You are situated in a room (that is never big enough) with your former exes, their current girlfriends, your ex-bestie and your new replacement for her, the guy you went home with last week, and there is no such avoidance, because you can only dodge or do the classic we-just-made-eye-contact-but-i’ll-totally-pretend-I-was-looking-at-something-else (that Michael Cera epitomizes in Superbad) oh so many times (tune into the 32 second mark of this clip to know what I mean: ). So take another sip of that liquid courage and be the bigger, better (and prettier) person and make the first form of contact right off the bat. I guarantee it will make your nerves and the spot-and-dash game non-existent.

Why are we fake?

Truth be told, shmoozing with people at a social gathering is (at times) great. It’s the perfect way to catch up with people you only see every now and again and get a summarized run down of their happenings in under five minutes. Having said that, you may see people who you have a history with. And boy do politics talk. So instead of saying what’s really on your mind and approaching the obvious elephant in the room, being fake allows civility. The fact of the matter is if you didn’t go to the event, you wouldn’t have approached the situation in the first place, so why discuss it here? A social gathering isn’t the place or time to bring up past issues. So sure, you could pretend The Enemy isn’t sitting across the room in her perfect shoes, with her perfectly blow dried hair (that bitch!) but she is and you both know it. So a little smile and a friendly wave, head nod, hello or acknowledgement of your choice will suffice. After all, someone needs to break the ice before so the room doesn’t freeze over. Got it? Good.

Jessica Simpson dated Tony Romo following Carrie Underwood and his split. They have both publicly made ill will comments about one another to the press and their dislike of one another is well known. Yet here they are, blonde, bronzed, twentysomethings faking it up at a social gathering. And for a mere for minutes of awkwardness, I don’t blame them!

Benefits of Being Fake

Let bygones be bygones, so the story goes. Sometimes in a faux-convo you may realize that all this bitterness and resentment really is over something so silly. See this run in as an opportunity to ease your mind and accept the situation for what it is. I’m not saying make up and be best buddies, but sometimes falling outs happen and it doesn’t hurt to take a moment to acknowledge it for your own benefit. We tend to avoid what hurts. Living is made easy when one takes charge. So make peace with the enemy for your own sanity and lay your worrisome blonde head to rest.

Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag went from bff’s to former friends as soon as Heidi’s boyfriend came in the picture. The two girls ran into each other at Lauren’s birthday and had a brief moment where they reminisced and accepted the inevitable change that they no longer are what they were.

On ‘Being Fake’s’ Bad Rap

If I gave you a measly penny for every time you’ve hear a lady friend of yours say ‘I hate that girl – she’s so fake’ you’d be a millionaire, right? We all complain to one another in our gossip-nest about fake girls. Being labeled as ‘fake’ is a negative connotation, but – if I may be blunt – I don’t see why being fake is all that bad. It is pleasant and the big thing to do. If being fake is acknowledging someone then lock me up. I’m no angel, but I’m not into grudges that are likely over misunderstandings or misjudgements anyways. Have a heart. Oh and if you see me out and we have some history and you want to be a tough-gal, run far or go hide in a stall because when we cross paths, trust you me, I will flash you my smile and will whole-heartedly say hi and not because I have to, but because I genuinely want to.

Jenny Jen chatting with an “acquintance” at a social gathering. The person has been blacked out for privacy reasons. See, being “fake” isn’t all that bad after all. Now, where did I leave my halo?

- Jenny Jen

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