It’s all so wild to me. This life. This world. With all it’s people and places and restaurants and bars, and websites and social networks and dating sites. All these people going to spots and events and using all these things and methods to potentially find someone that feels like home. And so we date and hook up and meet people and they all seem to be sort of meh. But when you least expect it, and when the universe knows you’re ready for it, and when you aren’t even looking for it, then just like that, you meet your destined other half. Magic.
I am astounded by the way this universe works. More so than ever when you meet someone who lives in a different city, in a different country, who somehow got guided to you and you in turn got guided to. Because isn’t that just something? Of all the people in all the world, you just meet that other and you know all of the decisions you’ve made up to that point – the divorce from your starter marriage, the break up with your long-term, loving live-in partner, the cutting out of flings and other people you were sorta, kind seeing – was not a mistake. It was all meant to happen to get you to the here and now. The present. You now know through this interaction and relationship that you are exactly where you need to be and exactly who you need to be with.
It’s funny. When a great relationship finally hits its stride (as it often does), we doubt whether we should pull the plug. Have the talk. File the separation papers. Move out of the shared home. As we go through having the talk, breaking things off and then go through the break up process that follows, we never really know with certainty whether or not we’re making a huge mistake. Because we are hopeless romantics. In the novella that is our life, we have ideas and ideals on how things will play out. We have ideas of what we want and need in a romantic relationship with another. To a tee. We know what up and that we want it but we don’t ever know if we’ll find it.
Whether it’s someone who’s strong, independent, motivated, a hard worker, playful, trouble, sincere, raw, or whether it’s someone who calls us on our shit, motivates us to work harder and be better people, need not matter. We deserve to at least try to find that mate that gives us every single god damn thing we’re looking for in a partner. To stay in a dead-end relationship just out of comfort, fear of being alone, or fear of not being able to find anything better, if you will, is settling at its finest. Don’t settle. You only have one shot at life. Give it your all. Find someone who is your ideal catch. Who you share intimacy with on all levels. And when you magically find the person that inhibits all the qualities you’re looking for in a partner, don’t let them go.
Love doesn’t work based on logistics. Love doesn’t get pushed aside for work and deadlines; for distance and distractions. For money or lack thereof. It is what it is. You need to figure out asap what’s important to you in this life. You need to make sure you’ve learned from you past relationships so as not to throw a wrench in your newfound one. So you can satiate yourself by staying with this other, no matter the limitations to do just that.
This life doesn’t give us many catches. But when you find a great catch, you need to make sure you keep it in your glove. Insert any and every Pillar reference here, superman. A catch is someone so perfectly designed for you. Their energy levels, their chillness, their little quirks that you find super sweet and endearing that make you love them all the more. Notice when you’ve got it good. And figure your shit out to ensure it stays.
We leave so much up to fate. We get lost in a new world with a new person and lose track of our reality. Our work. Our routines. But people come into your lives for a reason. You’re presented with them for something. And it’s your job to find out why and to work it out and not just leave things to chance. This is your chance. So are you going to reach up and catch it, or will you let that ball be hit out of the ball park?
Pictured: Jen Kirsch.