we all know what up

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Rosters. Most modern day singles have one. A guy they love doing dinner dates with. One they enjoy doing that mid-morning weekday brunch with, likely an artist type. One they love going to live music gigs with. One that’s a dick of a person, who they should be walking away from, but they’re fucking great in the sack, so one more time (or ten?) One they are still sort of seeing so they can get their weed from. Oh and they definitely have one they’re stringing along that is always at their beckon call, because why give that one up? It’s too easy.

But then, sometimes, one comes along and the others get benched, so to say. And then you don’t hear from your friend for days on end, except for when you look down at your phone to get gushing texts from them about the latest happenings in their day-to-day escapades with the one that finally caught their eye. Each text received is inviting you into their smitten state, if anything allowing you to simply see that – though it’s sudden – it totally makes sense. You totally get why all the other what’s-their-names have been left in the dust. And it’s pretty great, isn’t it?  You can’t help but smile and genuinely feel happy for them. And you don’t really give a fuck that they’ve gone MIA on you, ditching your plans, ignoring your calls, totally caught up in whatever it is that’s going on with them and their crush, because you get they’re just a bit lovestoned. And it’s to be expected. We all know what up.

That’s the cool ass thing about friendships when we’re all fucking adults. It doesn’t matter if your bud meets a babe and disappears on you for a bit. It’s never anything personal. It goes unspoken that they’ll be more than a little hard to get a hold of. And that when you do finally get a hold of ‘em that all you’ll fucking hear about is so-and-so this and so-and-so that, ad nauseum. Obviously. And you’ve been there too, my friend. Fuck have you ever.

Chance encounters. The consumption of chemistry. No end in sight this early on in the game because it seems so goddamn impossible to quench your thirst of this other. Each sip you have of them and their presence only makes you want to chug more and more and more from this never ending cup. Take that shit down. Bottoms up, bitches.

– Jen

2 Responses to we all know what up

  1. Mike says:

    This is one of the reasons why I don’t date. I absolutely am not into the idea of a woman I’m seeing being with 5 other guys for different reasons, and unfortunately, that’s just the way it is. It seems. I can’t handle it. Not ALL women want that, I know that, as my uncle (Aunts fiancé of many years) once put it to me on a trip to a car auction in Montreal on time a decade or so ago, when I was truly in some pain, talking about shit, “ahhh, there’s plenty of lonely women out there Mike…. Lot’s of lonely women”. Women who want something simple and good. Just one thing. That idea though, I don’t like that. It’s discouraging. To me it’s like, alrighty then, I might as well just immediately wipe 50% of the adult female population right off the board as “no bother, not serious” It’s the shit that turns a man into a pot smoking Xbox monk. It ruins good men like me. I mean sure I’ll have sex, if I feel like being around anyone I barely know (I’m antisocial) but woopty shit? What good is that? Who the fuck is gonna snuggle me tomorrow night, if you’re fucking guy who likes watching chick flicks is having a girls night in with the latest rom com? Useless to me. I don’t play second fiddle to nobody.

  2. Mike says:

    I’ll tell you though, there ARE women out there, young women, much younger than me, who I have come across, even though nothing happened between us during the time we knew each other, they did restore some of my faith in the opposite sex. The problem is it takes time with me. I have absolutely no vices when it comes to women, I am not in love, I am free. It takes a long time, but I’ve known girls who I’ll be getting to know in one way or another, will approach me over something in a certain way, she’ll snap over something stupid, to get a reaction out of me. Maybe I’ve been insensitive for the past week. Maybe I HAVE been making an effort to avoid you and your friends just because everyone is crazy and I am afraid of crazy, but she’ll push my buttons, bark at me, not really give me what I need to know, and I’ll look at her, do a 180, walk away, and leave it at that for the rest of the day. I have an issue with drama. I can’t handle one bit of arguing or drama. I will leave and let it cool. I WILL, but there are women who can actually sense that, without discussion, and change their tune, the next time. And at the same time, not resent that I don’t want to talk about it, and actually change the way they approach things, when in a bad mood. The issue is probably not my fault. Don’t take it out on me. If you need a hug, just ask. And still she has my back on other things, to the point that I’m thinking “She literally knows nothing about me over the last decade, because other than facts about me personally, she knows nothing about me, and still she gets me after a year. I love her” Didn’t date her, she’s happily living with a guy in a house they just bought, before she left. She’s short. I remeber her getting her winter coat hood caught on a door latch, and she almost didn’t realize it. I reached over right away to unhook her, and she didn’t flinch. She didn’t snap and go all feminist on me. She just accepted it, and kept going. It doesn’t seem like much, but something that simple turns into a moment. She wore open toed shoes and a toe ring and didn’t mind if I stared. I felt like I was allowed to. If she was single, I’d have dated her. I obviously had a title, but Im not gonna say it. She showed up there a few times after, felt like they were “hard to let go” visits. Haven’t seen her in close to a year. The last time was probably last christmas, and I think she expected a hug. She was a millisecond into it, but I didn’t let it. I probably should have but she was quick to notice me and stop. It was barely noticeable. Too hard. She’s some other guy’s. I’m not even sure if the reason she says she left is the true reason either. Maybe she was doing the right thing. It’s just a hug, but you know… is it really? Still, I liked her, and I miss/ed her. I’ve been there 3 years, she started there a month before me.

    Or another girl who took her place, very young, loved me. She forced herself on me (not literally). Telling me I was cute, she loved my face that kind of thing. Joking asking me if I wanted to get juicy with her. I was sarcastic with her. I’d tell her to go away, get back to work, stop bothering the people trying to work and keep moving to where you’re going. Quit looking at me, and she kept making me feel good. I remember walking in to swipe in to work, and she’s there at the kiosk with the guards, doing the same, she says “hi Mikey…” in this cute way, and stays looking at me all googly eyed, and I’m thinking to myself, this is actually some of the cutest shit I have ever had. It was one of those things where I looked at the guards who are smiling while I’m scanning my finger and I know even they’re thinking “That’s adorable….” We did discuss blowjobs one time, and that was completely her, AFTER she’d been bugging me to stay, talk and bond, rather than run, like I always do. One time she tried making me jealous by telling me she’s dating a guy for my reaction. Sweet girl. 3 or so months after she left (it could be longer, like even 6 months and time fly’s, I can’t remember) she was I guess texting one of the gay (or at least gay acting… not that there is anything wrong with that) guys I work with and told him to tell me she misses my pretty face. Out of the blue. Only a few days before my birthday actually, not sure if she knew. My reaction was to tell her I said hi. She’s way too young, but I was flattered. I don’t think I could take it further with her, but that was a sweet girl. She straight up forced me to like her, and didn’t buy my bullshit hard ass joke act.

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