wash rinse repeat

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There’s something sort of special about someone who just gets you, sexually. You meet. You’re physically attracted to one another. The chemistry is evident. You go home together. Your expectations are the to-be-expected basic, end of night and over-served expectations: Get one off, a story to tell, eat an all too late breakfast and go about your day. But you exchange numbers and keep in touch and somehow, 10 months have gone by and you’re still doing the same ol’ thing together. The weekly run-ins, the going home together, wash, rinse, repeat.

It need not matter that you’re both seeing a couple others, because there’s a sense and knowingness that they too are part of your ever-changing roster. And it’s easy. And it just works. And it’s really rather lovely having one consistent person over the course of 2016, which you rang in with them. Because with inconsistent consistency comes a routine. An edge. An understanding of sexual wants, needs, desires, and kinks. A comfort in one anothers home. Shower. Outdoor patio. Bedroom.

As time passes you fall into a rhythm. You know how to tend to their darkest, little fantasies without being prompted. You know that when they hit you up they’ll be giving it to you just as you like, your usual moans and groans acting as vocabulary because they understand your carnal noises as if words were uttered, without having to utter a single one. They get you and your rendez vous together are a natural extension of this connection that you share. One that lacks any emotions, though of course you want the best for them. The other partners need not matter and you hope they find a worthy opponent but whether they do or don’t fails to affect you.

And since there are no feelings, just a physical connection – when you both disappear from one anothers lives for a few weeks at a time, there are no questions asked, no offenses taken. And when you meet someone who you can’t help but think about in somewhat of a guilty way when you’re with this person, they get it. And you can talk about like adults. And they don’t take it personally nor are they upset if you just call it a night and cuddle up together and through your feelings or situation for this other with them, because that’s what it’s like to have an arrangement such as this. If it wasn’t this natural and wasn’t this easy, chances are it wouldn’t have persisted for as long as it did. But it has. And it does, to the surprise of you both.

We meet people in life who come to us at just the right time. Sometimes they just make a cameo in our lives to act as a reminder, of where we’re at, of what we want, and what we need, and they’re just a week long love-affair that was fun, but was what it was. And other times, we meet people who we just work with in one way or another. And though they are less significant in our lives because the relationship lacks the intensity that intimacy is derived from, they still help us keep on keeping on and fill us with a need and desire that obviously isn’t being met from elsewhere.

We often times want to define situations and where we stand with another. So we have “talks.” We try to end things simply because there are others. We try to end things because we are in our thirties so why the hell are we just “hooking up” and “getting off” and giving in to our carnal wishes? Why? Because we aren’t taken. We’re single. We’re horny. We’re attracted to whomever we are we are and so…if a relationship isn’t holding us back, we give the fuck in. So jump in ladies, head first. And if for some reason you guys both independently find others, then that’s ok too. With this type of situation you know where you stand, and know when to cut of things for once and for all. Until then, YOLO. #bottomsup

– Jen

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