The tumultuous couple. We all know one. That couple that makes you wonder how amazing the sex really is behind closed doors because you sure as fuck can’t figure out why they’re together. They’re always arguing in front of you as if you’re not even there. Or you’re out sipping soy lattes with a girlfriend of yours as she “uh-hum”, “yeah”, and head nods to the sound of your stories she’s clearly not listening to (should I just jump off this rooftop patio and end it all? “uh-hum”) as she angirly types out on her overworked cell, trying to track down her other half/love of her life.
Girls in healthy relationships know where their partner is. Know what they’re up to. Not freaking out when a text goes unanswered, whether it be their first, initial text or their 18th. Girl, if he see’s your CALL ME text the first time, the 18th (and even second text) is not necessary.
Break up and move the eff on or suck it up and stop ruining every single time we get together by, looking at your phone, calling him consistently then rushing to the next room because you’re so goddam embarrassed that you’re even freaking out on his ass that you don’t want me to hear. You’re embarrassing your partner, yourself and those you call friends.
We all know that couple. Married or otherwise. They stay because something about it is worth it. It may be the drama. It might be the high’s outweighing the lows. It may be full on forgetfulness of how you felt – the lowest of the lows – when you last argued, couldn’t reach him, or whatever his drug of poor behaviours is. You’re not fooling anyone. In fact, when you go back and you stay, you lose the respect of those who gave you hours on end of their time/attention/heart/problem solving skills, helping you cope with all that darkness. It not only makes your friends feel undervalued (they just want the best for you and aren’t wearing the same pair of rosy-shaded glasses as your lovestruck self is donning) but it makes them unable to be around your partner in the future. Because they know too much. They know the negative. The harsh and borderline abuse words sent via email, text and private messages on social networks (which they screen grabbed and sent you and you read thoroughly to help analyze and throw your own stones at). The name calling. The baggage. The emotions that they themselves took on.
Why dear girl, do you think you deserve the scraps of a man whose actions cause you to spiral out of control and seek the help, shoulders, and advice of others? Or worse, who causes you to suffer silently? So you don’t have the divorcee title? Because you share a child (in one of those aforementioned romps in the hay). Because you don’t want to start over again (Tinder? What’s that? Oh…GOD NO!)
Whatever. So what. You’re way too fabulous and you have your whole precious life ahead of you. Choose happy. Choose to live a healthy life. Respect yourself enough to trust your gut. You know that we know it’s not good. You know this in your heart too. The act in which you’re fronting is clearly just that and yes, everyone is talking about it. Stay if you want, but then shut your mouth every time he fucks up. That’s your decision. What do they say? Oh yes: She who is shipwrecked twice is foolish to blame the sea.
Happy spring cleaning, kids.