the most wonderful time of year, to find a match

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Welcome to the dead of winter. We’re in the midst of the holidays, which, though fun and exciting when you have someone to spend it with, is far from chic/cute/the happiest time of year (as some movies and social media statuses and images will have you to believe) when you don’t. Because, for the single folk, the reminder – come holiday dinners and endless invites – that no, you don’t have a plus one, annnddddd with the idea of the midnight kiss on NYE that’s been choked down our throat by everyone and anyone, we feel like we’ve gots to make moves to couple TF up, and lock someone down so we can just ease our worried minds.

This time of year will do that to you. Yes, you. Sitting there on your fourthish glass (aka the end of the bottle) of wine, on your couch, while you click ‘Next Episode,’ on your Netflix, which you’re doing all the watching none of the chill. The good thing about that, is though you feel super alone, you’re anything but.

Exhibit A: According to a recent eHarmony survey, December 26 through January have 2.27 times more registrations and communication requests sent than any other time of year. And yet for some reason, we give ourselves a hard time in our head. We wonder if we could’ve just made things work and let things linger with the last person we’re with. We wonder if we have enough time to lock down someone anew before December 31st. And the pressure all surmounts to nothing, because our intentions aren’t pure. But, if you genuinely want to find someone who has the potential to be a long term partner, now’s the time to sign-up and make moves, due to the endless options of like-minded mates available at your finger tips. A bigger dating pool makes it more likely that you’ll be matched with someone out there whose personality and traits suit your needs and wants and desires et al.

So what steps do you need to take to find this aforementioned suitor? Firstly, get out of the nest you’re hibernating in and start doing things that make you feel your best. Hit up a spin class/yoga class/boxing class or whatever your class of choice is that gets your endorphins flowing and that makes your body feel oh-so-fine. Go for that wax you’ve been putting off since the few months before your last break-up. Get those grown-out highlights (that now look like ombre) touched up. Read a kick-ass book like Love Warrior that puts you in the mindset that you’re deserving of love and you’re a bad-ass bitch who can and will move forward. Say yes to friends who invite you to fifth wheel their couples-NYE night. All of these things will make you feel like your best self, and when you’re feeling your best, you’ll attract another. Like breeds like.

When you sit at home, comfortable AF, checking your dating apps and profiles and Instagram and Facebook and Twitter and Snaps etc etc etc, you are allowing yourself to spiral into the abyss of loneliness. That ain’t a spot a firecracker like you should be. Use the knowingness that everyone and their moms are signing up for dating sites now more than ever this month and next, and try it on for size. Ok maybe it didn’t work for you in the past, and maybe a friend of a friend had a horror story, but you don’t get if you don’t ask. If you don’t put yo’ fine self out there for the taking.

Oh and as any FYI, eHarmony looked at what “language of love” works best to attract a match (like what words people use on their profile to resonate with potential romantic partners. Men have a tendency to choose women who use words like respectful, dependable and easy-going, while women tend to choose men who describe themselves as caring, genuine and outgoing. Happy hunting!

– Jen

Photo cred.

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