I don’t care if you don’t call me after our first date. I don’t care to get your number in my possession. Because you have mine and you know how to find me should you want to. And if you do, I’ll respond when I see your text and talk pleasantries and revisit inside jokes from the date. And I won’t wait a few hours or a day to write back, because games aren’t my thing. I’m straight up and I know what up. If you’re interested, you’re contacting me. I don’t need to chase you. But I’m happy to see you again if you wish.
I wish more people took my advice. Because I’m a serial dater, not looking for commitment or a ring or a goddamn family. I’m just me. I’ve never been busier with my career and I like being alone. I’m a writer for fucksake. I live in my head. And when you date as much as I do (since my break up) you learn a lot about yourself and others and dating and how things work. I have friends who delete guys numbers from their phone if a text goes unresponded. I have friends who want to wait a day or two or three to write back to a guy because they claim they want to make him work for it. Let me tell you something, no one likes working for anything. Hard to get is all well and good but impossible to get isn’t fun for anyone. It makes you seem too high maintenance, and them feel rejected. Pursuit is part of the fun, but I prefer the road that leads to making things happen asap, seeing if there’s a connection, and then moving on or not. It’s simple. It’s easy. And it’s attractive to others. What’s hotter than easy-goingness?
Let’s not make things harder than they need to be. Let’s be honest with each other and straight up. Something not working for you, speak up and use your words. Did this person do something that bothered you? Call them on their shit. When it comes to dating someone anew, you are showing them how they can treat you by what you’re willing to put up with. Draw boundaries. Be authentic and for god sake, stop analyzing little shit like what it means when you haven’t heard from this person all day then hear from them at 10pm. The trick to successful dating is not really a trick at all. It’s just having that ‘what will be will be mentality’ that doesn’t carry a suitcase filled with a lifetimes worth of expectations. Go with the flow. Take’r easy. And you, my dear friend, will get taken, no doubt.
Photo cred: some guy.