let shit go

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Time passes. We move forward. The travesties that once were, are all-so-soon forgotten when we continue to carry on. How mystical yet magical time is. How lucky we are that we can breed clarity, so long as we’re patient enough. So long as we don’t harvest ill will and let shit go.

We’ve all been there. We’ve written someone off. Perhaps a former flame or perhaps a long time friend. At once they were of value in our lives, but drama ensued and so we decided it was healthier for our sanity to cut ties. It was easier to take space away and a step back because our instincts told us to run. Because we sensed negativity and wanted to not deal with it head-on. Power struggles are all too real, though we pretend oh-so-hard to not be affected. And avoidance is a great tool to one-up someone, because who the F wants to admit their rattled up? Not I.

Confrontation and sharing our hurt that so obviously stems from another makes us all too vulnerable. So instead of saying what up, we remove ourselves from said conversations completely. We ghost. And when something like a song on the radio reminds us of them, we feel genuine anger about how the situation was handled, and a sense of loss of what was.

Yet, in time, things come full circle. You let go. You maybe even forgive subconsciously. And perhaps, you even forget. But if you can legit let shit go, and reach out with no expectations, you have the possibility to be pleasantly surprised. That’s the beauty of the human gut; our instinct. You just know when it’s time to reconnect and reach out, the second that feeling finally comes.

Life gets messy. We fuck up. We go bat-shit cray. We say things when maybe we should keep them to ourselves. We say things when under the influence that we feel embarrassed and shameful about come morn when we realize our indiscretions.

Sadly, we have to deal with the consequences of our behaviour. At times, said consequences cause shame deep down and we need to let time do its thing so we can shed that shame and accept and handle the situation rationally.

But oh how delicious it is once time has done its thing, when we can reach out to someone out of the blue without any expectations. When we can pick up where we left off, water under the bridge without mention of those goddamn rocky times.

It’s easy to give up on another you once shared a powerful and playful bond with. We’re so good at protecting ourselves and letting pride get in our way. But when you’re finally at a point where you realize you miss this person from your life, that’s the exact same moment you should own it.

Make a random phone call. Expect them not to answer. Prepare nothing, and hope for the best. You might just be pleasantly surprised. You might just be able to pick up where you left off before shit got weird. But if you’ve already lost them in your life, you have nothing to lose by reaching out.

Life, dating and maintaining relationships is not an easy feat. But if you can be your bold, babe of a self you can try to get back to where you left off when things were good. So do it. Take action. Calling up someone you oh-so-genuinely care about and miss from your life and just hearing their notorious voice (if they answer) is the first step. I don’t know, it’s just the way it is. It’s all about reaching out and feeling good. The rest is unwritten.

– Jen

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