last name ever, first name greatest


Grand gestures. Is there anything greater than? When someone goes out of their way – unprompted – to do something above and beyond for you, for the sole purpose of putting a smile on your smitten, little face. No expectations. Nothing wanted in return. A genuine action in its purest form. It shows that they paid attention. To either a hint you gave, or something you said. That they didn’t just hear what you said, but they wanted to ensure you knew they heard and that you understood and wanted to provide a moment of monument for them, full circle. You lucky fuck.

Oftentimes it’s a material good. Something you desired that you yourself wouldn’t have gotten for yourself. Perhaps something that was unobtainable that they did their research and sourced for you because they could. Because they can. Other times it could be a simple leave behind they left for you scavenger-hunt styles, in an nondescript, stapled bag with your name on it. Just there for you to find and discover on your lonesome, so you know that they’ve got your back. So you know that things are good, and you guys are in a good place. The goods. Hells yeah, tho. Subtle reassurance. A reminder of what up. Alluding, perhaps, to an inside joke. Or maybe just a form of acknowledgement that you’re attune to their wants and needs and are willing and able to provide for them, without being asked.

Another way to give is to – better yet – be there with them to see their overwhelmingly happy and pure reaction to your over-the-top good deed, perhaps handing them or emailing them something heavy they longed for and then basking in their inevitable glow while they sit right the fuck next to you. It not mattering where you guys are sitting and anything that came before you both were sitting there. And if that’s your call – to be there when gifting another – you too feel gifted to get the opportunity (because that is so what it is) to share that electric energy they radiate when on a cloud one-up from nine.

And for even but a moment you feel something fill your black-as-fuck heart knowing that someone did this for you. You. Your crazy. Fucking. Self. You’re just a random person from a random city with whatever it is you got going on (a lot, because it is what it is), trying to make it day in and day out in this maddening and to-do list filled, wondorous world. And for some fucked up reason, someone not only adores you, but wants to do their damn best to make you happy. Because they are. Easy as that. And they do. You catch yourself smiling. A smirk stricken across your face. A chuckle out loud to yourself, humoured by your luck; by the gravity of the magic that makes this world go round. Your stomach aflutter. The want to share that moment with them because they really played their cards right and you want them to damn well know it. Home run. It borderline brings you to tears (too soon?) because it feels so goddamn good. More than good. It’s pretty, fucking grand.

We have the ability to love. To give our love away. Our generousity. Our time. Our attention. Grand gestures are an unguarded way to do just that. It doesn’t make us vulnerable to put ourselves out there and show someone that we care, but instead makes us feel more in control. Because we can admit it, despite what may come of it. That we care even though caring leads to a shit ton of trickyness and inner-monologue questions and concerns. Meh. See that’s the thing with life. You never know what next week will bring, or really even tonight. But what you do know is you only have one life to live, so live it and share the love. Share that love and put that out into the world. We sure as fuck need more of it.

Stop analyzing or questioning or trying to play marionette on this thing called life. Things always work out how they’re meant to and the universe only gives us that in which we can handle. Believe in that and let things just happen. Your actions and your gestures far surpass you words and thoughts, which – lets be honest – are often induced by self-created anxiety and the need for a sense of control over something humans really can’t control; cold, hard feelings. Vibes. That spiritual bullshit. Continue to keep people on their toes and keep them guessing, if for no other reason but to soak up the ability that you can. It doesn’t have to be a monetary gesture, nor does it have to be a material good. It just needs to be something that comes from the heart naturally and easily. When we give to others, we in fact are giving mostly to ourselves. Cherish your ability to feel and want happiness for another one day at a time. It really is the greatest, ever.

– Jen

Photo cred: Some guy.

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