black magic woman, and boho chic babes + bros

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Free spirits. Open minds and hearts. Those who aren’t concerned about what they wear or how they act, because they’re totally at peace with their own sense of self and being. Bohemians. Wanderers. They do what they want when they want, causing others to be dazzled by their aura. These are the traits of those I’m attracted to. It’s not a look, but the vibrations they radiate. It’s something unsaid that says more than words ever could. It’s a state of calm, cool, collected confidence. It’s the knowing that they know their worth, and because of that, they’ll always be authentic, real and raw in their interactions with you, and that alone will gain respect from others. This to me is the epitome of cool. A good soul, with great energy and knack for keeping you on your toes. What fun!

When I look at those who I choose to surround myself with: friends, lovers, colleagues, and family members, they all share such similar commonalities. Which is wild, because they’re all so unique and eccentric. It’s also not so shocking when I meet others out of the blue at parties, or online, that just so happen to be connected to others I’m close to (or once was.) It makes sense. We all have certain types we’re attracted to, so like minded people are bound to find each other, eventually.

What I love about my type (as described above) is they float through life with a sense of ease. Like a killer song, or a great bass solo. They rock on in a melodic way that makes you want to move closer to them, all in. They’re open to honesty and don’t judge you for the crazy lil bitch you are. They know at times you’ll be off the handle, perhaps after way too many drinks (and shots, which you hardly ever do) and they don’t hold your actions and words when under the influence over your shoulders. Because they’re the exact same way. And people fuck up. And that’s just being human. And is there anything more beautiful than exposing your raw self to another?

When it comes to who I choose to date and befriend – more than a physical appearance, or any other thing –  I notice a stream of people who can hold their own and dance to their own tune. Who can handle my laissez fair and carefree attitude towards everything and whose livelihood sort of resembles the same easy goingness. They don’t take things personally. They don’t question it. They accept it for what it is and in turn, act just as freely and openly. It’s admirable to be – and share time – with another who doesn’t judge you; who just rolls with all the curve balls being thrown and throws some right back atcha. This is positivity and a sunshiny disposition at its finest. This is how we should all carry out our relationships, if we want to live a happy life free of drama, intensity or pressure of any kind.

Dance. Smile. Dress in Harry Potter garb if it makes you feel fab, wizardly or not. Strut down the street. Hells, walk through the street holding a plant or an instrument or what ever puts a smile on your dimple-laden face. Throw your hair up into a top-knot bun, ridiculous though it might look. Rock a sweatsuit if that’s your vibe, amigo. Test the limits. Stay out all night. Make-out often; at streetlights, at bars, in washrooms, in bed. Compliment others. Don’t look at any one else as a threat or competition or a challenge. Support others work and humor and looks. Be grateful and share your gratitude. Seize the moment as it’s happening and worry less about what the outcome will be down the road.

Confidence is something you either have or you don’t, but over anything it’s something that people notice within a second whether you exude it or not. Let go of the worries of what you should look like and how you should dress to be a chameleon and conform to those around you. Present yourself for who you are, and don’t edit yourself in the hopes to please another, because people see through that. And worst of all, they run from it. There’s nothing more unattractive than one who doubts themselves and how they are. They end up acting jealous, angry and go out of their way to try to prove why they’re worthy of others attention, while self sabotaging because their actions show anything but. If you have to shield yourself because someone has judged you, then they aren’t the type of person who should be in your life. It’s all about good vibes. Nothing else should be an immediate write off. Just like that. Bye bye.

The more unique, strong and free spirited you are, the more you stand true to your isms and quirks, the more others will gravitate to you, likely in awe. Let go of these constraints that society puts on us. And just for once, for all, be you. You’re way more interesting than the person you think you should be.

– Jen

Photo cred.

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