Intensity. Pressure forming around the valve that houses your heart. Your precious heart. The same one that has beat for another, and another and another all in such very different ways. Overwhelming emotions. Trying to navigate through them. Trusting your gut, even if your mind wants something different. Wanting the best for another. Doing your damn best to help get them there. Doing your damn best to ensure you’re looking out after yourself while at it. The life and times of one who is so very aware of how to analyze their own feelings and body ain’t as sweet as it seems. Because reality is all too obvious. It’s all too present. And eventually, you have to accept it and take action accordingly.
How crazy it is that we can feel so fucking deeply for another, all based on intuition. On a gut feeling. Physiologically. A sense down to the core of your being. A simple sense. Not an idea, or a hope, or a want to get to that certain place with another, but the notion that you’re already there, whether you want to be or not. How difficult it is to accept and acknowledge those feelings as something more than frivolous. How difficult it is to not run from them and self medicate in all the ways in which you do, to avoid the weight that comes with such intense feelings for another. You’re pretty much fucked. Meh.
Humoured I am that it is those of us who aren’t seeking anything from another that tend to get the most. Funny the way it is how magical the world works for those of us who aren’t looking for really anything but to enjoy our time with another, come what may. The world is filled with so many inhibited singles lusting for the idea of love and finding it with another, almost despite who the other one is. They force feelings which always pushes others away, but sometimes it works because lonely hearts seem to seek one another. But let me tell you, my friends, it’s those of us who aren’t seeking anything from anyone who end up with the good ones. Because like attracts like. When you need nothing from another you create a very unique and easy delicious-little dynamic. How decadent. Which – by the way – is pretty hilarious because you are the last two people in the world who would ever need to have such a savoury dynamic. So instead of analyzing the shit out of what said dynamic is and how you, of all people, landed yourself into a relationship of sorts and instead of wondering how to come to terms with your current situation, just roll with it. Enjoy it. Soak that shit up.
Independence. Being cool with whateves. Just doing your thing. These are things that draw others in. These are things to be admired in another. If two people can be so lucky as to be rocking the same vibe, then just let it be. We often want to label things or run from the unknown. The heavy. The allure is there but really, are we going there so soon? Fuck yeah. Life is filled with surprises. Enjoy catching yourself smiling. Enjoy your current emotions. And be grateful you are able to house a heart that beats so very strongly; that is filled to the brim with so much passion.