The here and now. It’s all we gots. We plan and worry and wonder our days away, one inner-monologue analysis at a time, but these things that comprise our thoughts often aren’t even real. They’re just our insecurities and fears doing their goddamn best to work in a favour that we think is best for us. In a favour that protects us from exposing our vulnerabilities to another. From putting ourselves out there. They’re the what if’s and the why not’s and the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s of the world. We’re all guilty of these thought patterns. Of projecting issues. But if you can go to that old school stereo that is your head, and lower that fuzz and busted sounds creeping up, you’ll be able to be present and hear that soft sound of the beautiful song. Able to revel in the reality as is displayed in front of your very own, rosy-shaded eyes.
Rolling around with another in bed. Staying in bed all day with another – arms, legs, beings entwined – sharing stories and secrets, your bodies, your minds. Phones down and away. No distraction in sight. Lost in the abyss of another as if you’re the only ones in the world. And for that moment, if you stay present in it, you are. Or sitting side by side at your fave local haunt, sharing food and stories while grabbing each others thighs, hands, whatever you could get a hold of, under the table. Catching glances. Feasting on the feeling of your partners eyes on you across the room as you go about your little routine of cleaning the counter top, trying to match your socks fresh from the drier, sipping your tea, smiling to yourself.
I’m always humoured when women – who are out with their equally smitten new man – say they miss their dude already and can’t wait to see him again (even though he’s right there with her), as they try to figure out what their next plan and date will be. I want to shake ‘em up and tell ‘em that this is the moment. You’re on the date. They’re in front of you. To savour it. To see it for what it is. To not pull away. To not run from it. To not use words and sentences and emotions wondering and worrying when the next time will be. It’s these things that suffocate another. And rarely do they work in ones favour.
Mindfulness; what a treat. To realize the beauty, intensity and impact of an amazingly magical and special moment while actually in it. Slow dancing to your song in the kitchen, like the cutie pies you are. Walking arm and arm down the street on your usual, morning coffee run, warming each other with good ol’ sexy body heat before you both indulge in your first hit to start the day. Laying in bed with another, on a day off, without a distraction or care in the world in that majestic moment. Because you’re absolutely, madly lost in one another. This, my friends, is intimacy at its finest.
Intimacy isn’t just something sexual, but it’s way more than that. It’s a shared bond. A shared moment in time. It’s where – in many cases – we can expose our raw and flawed self in front of another, and share our thoughts, ideas and ideals with another in an intellectual way. Getting their thoughts on ours. Helping one another navigate the wild ride they’re on. There’s also emotional intimacy where we share with our partner and empathize with them. We relate and we hold space for their hurts, past and present. And we don’t judge. And such too is physical and sexual intimacy. Reassuring touches, hand squeezes, playful slaps on the ass, little kisses on the mouth, head, cheek and hands. In private. In public. Whenever the moment strikes and following it naturally without holding back. Mmmm. God damn. Intimacy is a rare treat shared between two beings on the very same page. And oh, what a page it is.
Sadly though, we often fail to realize the drastic need for intimacy in our lives and we block ourselves from it. It’s easy to. Who wants to get hurt? Who wants to take the risk? Who wants to share our inner shame with another, when they could just up and run. Where they can just judge, or not understand and therefor make us feel even more shame. Doesn’t sound fun, does it? So, go-with-the-flow though we might be, we tend to talk ourselves out of anything that has the potential to bring up pain. To bring up past hurts, even with just the idea the history could repeat itself. Though lets be honest, it hardly ever does. Because we learn from our mistakes. As time moves forward – as it does – we are able to look back on past situations, relationships and what not, with clear eyes; with eyes that aren’t shaded by the whirlwind of emotions that come with a loss. When we can’t even see what’s what. Give yourself the self respect you deserve to realize when you have the opportunity to be intimate with another, and go for it, heart first. Fuck head.
To be swept off your feet. Is there anything better than? Because with sweeping comes the unexpected. Another who catches you off guard, and in array of actions tends to you in a way you didn’t know needed tending to. It could be opening the door for you each and every time. It could be insisting you stay by their side for but another moment, even though you have a shit ton of things to bang off your to do list. These little intimacies surround you, and if you take but a moment to notice them and these grand moments while you’re in them, before they become but a distant memory, then you will lead a rich and encompassed life filled with passion, love and ultimate happiness. Never hold yourself back. Because one day, you won’t have the option to anymore.