deja-date

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You re-connect with someone you used to know. Chemistry is evident immediately, even radiating through the phone when you plan to meet up for the first time in some time. He picks you up, you pile into his car. You want to reach over between the seats just over the stick, but the too soon mentality is one that crosses your mind, so you resist. Bite your tongue. You’re in for a long day.

You talk about the past couple years. Relationships come and gone. Lessons learned. Where you’re currently at. Things seem natural and easy, almost too natural and easy for your liking. Because with the chill comes a bit of a buzz kill on the passion. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, per se, but when starting something new with another, you’re often guaranteed it will come alongside courting, pursuing, and the like. But on some rare occasions when you just click with someone, none of that need be on the agenda. And it becomes a kind of confusing thing because it’s not what you’ve come to know in the short time you’ve been dating again. Oddly, it feels like you’re already in the one-year in phase in a relationship.

We’re trained. We’re trained how to be when we hang out with a suitor; a person of interest. In all our years of dating and relationships and possibly even wedded bliss, we’ve developed ways of being with another. Sometimes these habits are for the better, but sometimes they’re so goddamn ingrained that it becomes difficult to break free of them when we meet someone different, who is maybe more like us than our last partner was. Meaning, the same way of being in our past relationship or with past partners needs to change.

So roll with it. Use it as a growing experience. People tend to come into our lives exactly when we need them. No need to write ‘em off because we have certain expectations of what dating should look like. Some relationships move fast, and that’s ok, as long as you don’t lose sight of you and your needs.

– Jen

Photo credit.

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